The Interrupting Peacock and a Cockney Sparrow

Once there was an Interrupting Peacock and a Cockney Sparrow. They both lived in the East London and earned a few crumbs by entertaining in the street.

Cockney Sparrow played the spoons but because in those days all Londoners had to speak in rhyming slang.
He called them his “loony toons”.

The Interrupting Peacock sang:

The peacock has a wondrous call
Now come and listen one and all
For kings and queens it’s their first choice
To listen to the Peacock’s voice.

Then Cockney Sparrow would play on his loonies:

Clickity, clack, clack, clickity, clack,
Clackity, click, click, clackity, click,
Tapity tapity, tut, tut, tut,
Clackity, clackity, tut-ut-ta-tut.


It was a good act. And after people saw them, they would throw them a few crumbs of cake.

One day the Interrupting Peacock said to the Cockney Sparrow,

“I am wasting my time singing here, I am going up West, going to the bright lights. Are you coming?”

“Well,” said Cockney Sparrow, “I like it 'ere, with all me mates. If we go up West we…”

“Come on,” interrupted Peacock as he took off over the market stalls and off to the West.



Soon the pair were sitting by Nelson’s column.

“This is more like it, my little mate,” said Interrupting Peacock. “We’ll get a better class of customer here.”

“It’s a bit noisy round 'ere. Why don’t we…”

The peacock has a wondrous call
Now come and listen one and all
For kings and queens it’s their first choice
To listen to the Peacock’s voice.

Cockney Sparrow got his loonies out just in time;

Clickity, clack, clack, clickity, clack,
Clackity, click, click, clackity, click,
Tapity tapity, tut, tut, tut,
Clackity, clackity , tut-ut-ta-tut.

Lots of people listened but there was not a single crumb.

“Look! over there, what’s that sign ….”

“ ‘Feeding of birds, not allowed’. Well, I never! If I am not appreciated here, we shall move on. To where they show some respect. Let us leave.”

“Why don’t we just go home. I don’t like…..”

“Follow me.” said the Interrupting Peacock and took to the air. They flew until they came to a park with trees and railings around.

“What're all those bars for. Is this a..”

“To keep the riff raff out.” said the Interrupting Peacock. “This is obviously a park for the avian elite – that’s best birds, to you, my old Cock Sparrow.”

“I don’t like the look of it, Mr P. I can smell somefing. Somefing my little brain says…”

“Nonsense, my tiny brained friend.” Interrupting Peacock opened up his tail feathers and started to sing.

The peacock has a wondrous call …..

From behind the bushes something stirred. Oscar, the oldest lion in the Zoo twitched his deaf ears, raised his old bones. Sleep over, he was hungry. A distant memory from deep inside his brain told him to get ready to chase and kill. But a more recent memory told him to walk over to the gate and wait for the keepers to throw in a leg of lamb. On his way to the gate he spotted Interrupting Peacock. The lion’s head went down, his eyes fixed... unblinking,

Now come and listen one and all..

Oscar moved slow, like a sun set over the Serengeti.

For kings and queens it’s their first choice...

Interrupting Peacock had reached the high note of his song. With and extra pause and a long trill...

The lion began to run...

To listen to the peacock's…

Suddenly, Cockney Sparrow’s remembered what the smell was that had been worrying him.

“Mr P! There’s a ...” started Cockney Sparrow.

“Really, fancy interrupting me, how rude you are little bird.”

There was a hairy flash of brown, a baring of teeth, a crunching of bones, a shaking of feathers and... no more interruptions.

Cockney Sparrow did his best dive bombed the lion, splattered him with droppings. But it was no good. He settled on the bars of the cage and watched one last bright green feather slowly fall to the ground.


Cockney Sparrow flew home to the East End.

You can see him there to this day playing his loonies and some folks occasionally throw him a few crumbs; but, well, who wants to watch half a double-act?

Clickity, clack, clack, clickity, clack,
Clackity, click, click, clackity, click,
Tapity tapity, tut, tut, tut,
Clackity, clackity ,
tut-ut-ta -

tut...