"I can't stand here for six hours, Benny, I won't be able to feel my legs."
"What d'you want to feel your legs for, Tic-Tac?"
"We should have a bigger space to hide in?"
"Blame Morey-the-Monkey's bird."
"What's she got to do with it?"
"She set it up. Works for the firm that did these panel displays in the gallery. She fixed the false screws in the panels."
"She works for a construction company?"
"Shops and that sort of stuff."
"Ain't very lady like, is it? Working for a construction company."
"Well Morey-the-Monkey's bird ain't very lady like, is she? Look how she beat up Mickey Uphill?
"What?"
"Yeh, head butted him in the Cricketer's."
"In the where?"
"That pub over Hackney. Mickey fell over and she kicked him in the Jackson's."
"Why'd she....."
"Shut it! Tic-Tac...Watchman..."
....................
"Ok, all clear."
"What's the time, Benny?"
"Just gone twelve."
"Two more bleeding hours stuck in here. Why's this picture worth so much, anyway?"
"It's a Picasso."
"How much it worth then?"
"Couple of million."
"Jesus! Why's it worth that much?"
"Someone's willing to pay that much, I suppose."
"Why are we only getting five grand a piece for our bit. I mean we're taking all the risk?"
"Shut up, Tic-Tac."
"What's the time?"
"I just told you, Tic-Tac."
"What's this picture about, Benny?"
"Have a look through a hole."
"It's a boy, with a dog and he's eating something."
"What's he eating?"
"I don't know, a doughnut, I think. What's the point of that? I mean if it was a building on fire and fireman rescuing a bird over his shoulder, and a dog trapped on the top floor, that would be good for a picture but a boy with a doughnut? What's it supposed to mean?"
"I don't know."
"The boy looks like a girl. Was he into that sort of thing, Benny?"
"Who?"
"Picasso."
"How would I know?"
"I had a dog once."
"In that poxy flat of yours?"
"Yeh. My dad came home drunk one Christmas Eve with it in a cardboard box. Said he bought it off a bloke in a pub; Mum said he'd nicked it. I really liked that dog, it was great. It was a proper dog, a mastiff. I used to like to stand on the balcony and stroke its head. So everyone could look up at me and say, 'there's Tic-Tac and his Dog.'"
"What'd you call it?"
"Floppy."
"Floppy!."
"Dad wouldn't let me take it out, but it always tried to follow me. One morning I'm on the way to the shops. The dog's barking from the balcony, I looks up and sees him jump over the wall. Six floors... didn't stand a bleeding chance."
"Christ!"
"As it fell, it was running, like it was trying to run back up."
"My Aunt had a cat that did that."
"What, ran back up?"
"Nah, fell seven floors but it lived. Just seemed a bit nervous afterwards."
"You sure that ain't a girl in the picture, Benny?"
"No! Cos it's called 'Boy with a dog'. Morey-the-Monkey's bird look's like a bloke but she ain't."
"How'd do you know she ain't a bloke? Morey's always had weird birds."
"I can tell, Tic-Tac."
"How can you tell?"
"I just can."
"Why is the boy in the picture wearing girls clothes then?"
"Probably just mucking about. Kids do that sort of thing."
"Did you put girls clothes on then?"
"Only my sister's, just for a laugh, when she was out. Shush! Night Watchman....."
.................................
"I never had a sister, and if I had, I wouldn't have worn her clothes. Where did Morey find this bird, anyway?"
"He took a fancy to her when she nutted Mickey Uphill. Then he got very interested when she said she could set this job up."
"You won't be able to shift the picture from a gallery down the road, Benny."
"Obviously not, Tic-Tac. Morey's bird's got contacts. Probably some rich sod who likes pretty boys."
"Or, dogs. Is it time yet?"
"Nah, not yet."
"Is Morey sure he can get the alarm turned off? We're gonna look pretty stupid if we step out of here and set off all the bloody alarms."
"Morey knows this kid, works for the Electricity. He got him to dig a hole in the pavement, down the road and put up one of those workmen's tents. When it's time the kid will cut the power. It'll take at least five minutes for the watchmen to start up the emergency generator. By which time we'll have the picture out and rolled. The windows already open, I've got the knotted rope, down two floors and away."
"Smooth as a baby's head."
"Arse."
"What?"
"Smooth as a baby's Arse."
"What is?"
"Shut it, watchman..."
"What's he coming back for? He's only just been around."
"Sh...."
....................................
"He's turned the light on? Shit... there's a bloody dog with him, he's got a bloody dog. Oh, shit it's spotted us....."
"Benny? Tic-tac? You in there?"
"Is that Morey-the-Monkey's bird? What are you doing here, clear off we're on a job for Christ sake."
"What's she doing here Benny?"
"I don't know. What you doing here? Get rid of that poxy dog, you'll have the coppers here?"
"The dog belongs to Sergeant Connelly."
"Well get rid of it before, Connelly arrives."
"He's here already, Benny."
"What? What you doing with the coppers, Morey will kill you."
"I don't think so, Benny, he's banged up and I'm on duty. I'm a police officer you see. Are you coming out quietly - or shall I get Connelly to send the dog in?"
"We're coming."
"Bloody hell, Benny. Look, Morey-the-Monkey's bird."
"What?"
"She ain't a bird, she's a bloke."
"The window Tic-Tac. We could do a runner."
"My legs have gone to sleep, Benny."
"They'll wake up when you hit the ground. It's only two floors."
"Two bloody floors, look what happened to my dog, Benny."
"Come on, remember my Aunt's cat......"
